Child, death is a dance on the forest floor

1.
Apparently if you point a camera at me while I'm doing aikido my posture and form immediately improves, as my friend E discovered on Wednesday while we were practicing jujinage and she handed her phone to a dojomate who was sitting out that set.

This does not surprise me, because I'm generally quite camera-aware and will push for more clarity and precision of demonstration when it matters to show-case it and I'm not going "this is near the end of class and I'm tired".

Also we got some really nice photos out of it, including a couple where E's completely in the air such that there's the illusion that she's being held upright by her ponytail alone.

(she was taking breakfalls, thus the hovering in mid-air. I was not, but only because I didn't want to; it looked from the outside like I was because I was being thrown in a way that definitely encouraged it.)


2.
"Aikido can be very technical," sensei said near the start of the seminar today, and what she meant by that was rather "it's very easy to get caught up in Step 1, Step 2, Step 3 and forget that aikido is at its simplest and most fluid if you make a connection and simply move."

We spent a lot of time focusing on extension: keeping one's arm reaching out kokyu (that word/term which means breath, but which is also a description of keeping one's arm/body engaged without being stiff, of being strong and unbendable not by muscle tension but by structure and directional intent). Which is important, because it does make technique easier to apply, but sensei also pointed out that for all that she was asking us to think about our arms and our posture, the actual application only worked if our feet were in the right place at the right time.

I think the technique that most visibly established this was the one where she was like "okay, I'm showing you two variations" and then proceeded to be like "So yes, you can do this technique in a very straight-forward [literally] way. We're going to practice the variation that forces you to do interesting footwork as a way of ensuring you're thinking about that too." (I loved this technique. It looks funky—anything where you go back-to-back with your partner does!—but the flow was really lovely once I got a chance to try it. Really did rely on the footwork being accurate, though!)

The whole seminar was really nice for just... being in the mix of a lot of yudansha [black belts] who I know from the seminar circuit and thus getting to be like "yup, definitely know plenty of stuff and have even more to learn".

Also fun: sensei deciding that we all needed to do some rolling practice and making everyone go back and forth across the mat for a while.

The seminar just... generally focused on elements of aikido that I've been thinking about lately anyway, which was really nice. A lot about connection and smoothness and seeing how little muscle you need to use. The flow of the technique. Blending with your partner in the opening. Things like that.

And then, y'know, two dan tests from people who I know. Nidan and sandan. It's... mm. I'm taking nidan at the end of this month. I watched these tests (both by older white men who started as adults) and spent the whole time thinking oh, I could do that at least as well, probably better, which...

idk. I've probably been capable of testing a rank ahead of where I place since I took first kyu, and I'm pretty sure I took shodan later than I otherwise would've because of covid, so...

It's not surprising. It's just a fact.

I've done much less specific preparation for nidan than perhaps I could, but also, like, I do know everything on the test. The bits that I'm like "but I could know this better" aren't about what's necessary; they're about what I know I'm capable of, since I was basically taught the nidan test when I took shodan. But since whatever I do for the test will certainly be more than enough—people just don't test unless their sensei think they're ready—there's no need to stress about it.


3.
The thing about test prep class when everyone who's testing is at the skill level required is that it mostly turns into a confidence-building exercise, which comes across in some really different ways depending on who's there and who's testing soon.

It's... sometimes a frustrating thing to facilitate. (A thing I do whenever the friend who really wants to run it is having fatigue problems or is out of town for family reasons.) Mostly because I don't have anxiety about tests/performances/being watched doing stuff like this? And so I'm like "yeah this is going to be fun" as soon as I'm certain I know all the stuff required. Which is not usually a helpful attitude for people who do have more anxiety.

But hey, at the end of the day it's all just about encouraging people and reminding them of how much they already know, and I do like that part.